Category: Intended Parent

Personal Development Guide for Surrogate Mothers

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Personal development can be overwhelming for many to undertake, more so for a surrogate mother who is going through a lot of changes. This post is designed to guide you in the direction of personal improvement by doing simple actions that will strengthen your personal development goals as a surrogate. Here, you’ll find a variety of ideas that you can employ to set yourself up for achieving success.

As a surrogate mother, make friends with those who are positive-minded and provide happiness to your life. They’ll help you stay on track by being good role models for desirable practices, and you’ll better balance any negative energy you get from people who aren’t as encouraging of your self-improvement aspirations.

Take breaks when working, and get as much finished tasks as possible. Although this seems counterproductive, taking regular breaks is good because it gives you the chance to energize your mind, so when you return to work, you’ll be able to get more done.

Another step critical in personal development as a surrogate mother is understanding how to be a leader. Leadership has many different definitions, but rooted under one common factor which is influence. Look back on your previous experiences as a surrogate, or examine the things that have transformed your leadership potential. Which events had the most impact on the way you live your life? What adjustments have occurred thanks to these events? How did your leadership skills come into action during those incidents? Thinking deeply about these subjects as a surrogate mom can bring awareness of the level of your leadership and team member skills.

Showing a little humility also helps. When you realize the value of others, you will begin to recognize how important other people are. As a surrogate mom, a humble mental outlook puts you in the most ideal mindset to learn new things and grow personally.

Finally, it helps to write how you feel. Keeping a journal will help you unload any negative feeling and keep track of the positive experiences in your life. Maintaining this kind of record will prove to be therapeutic and will help you to look back on certain moments worth recalling.

Tips for Gestational Carriers

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From lifting your mood to lowering your risk for various diseases, selecting the right kind of foods has a great deal of benefits. The following are some techniques on how you can improve your health by means of the food that you eat while being a gestational carrier.

As a gestational carrier, you must pay attention to the labels at the back of the food that you obtain in the supermarket. Take the time to read the nutritional values on the packages before you make your purchase. Doing so will guide you in making sound decisions on your food choices.

When considering your nutrition as a gestational carrier, be vigilant for foods that may look healthy, but end up being quite the opposite. There can be a whole lot of fats and sodium in expected healthy looking snacks. Smoothies for example, may end up having a lot of calories from fats and sugar depending on the ingredients they used. You are, after all, eating for two so it is critical for you to be in the know with what you put in your body.

One of the ideal things you can do to provide proper nutrition as a gestational carrier is to include a good multi-vitamin in your day-to-day regimen. This is more likely provided by the intended parents and recommended by health professionals based on your needs and not just the RDA. These multivitamins sustain your body with the necessary levels of diverse minerals and vitamins that you might not be getting in your diet. This will act as a supplement and will also aid in the development of the baby that you are carrying.

When taking into consideration your nutrition as a gestational carrier, it is necessary to keep the soon to be parents included throughout the whole process. This will make them feel excited and bring about a feeling of value and significance. Take them to the store with you and have them help you pick out foods that they like and that are healthy for you and the baby.

As a gestational carrier, make sure to mix protein and carbohydrates when you sit down to eat. You’ll still get energy from the carbohydrates, but the protein will keep you full. Eating a mix of the two will keep your blood sugar sound and keep your appetite in check.

Building healthy eating habits are vital to a self-sufficient plan for healthy nutrition not just for you as a gestational carrier, but also for the child that you are carrying. The general advantages of a nutritious diet, depends entirely on whether or not you can stick to it. Diet reformations that are simple to follow are more effective over unreasonable variations that you, as a gestational carrier, will struggle with.

Surrogacy 101

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There are some states where surrogacy is considered legal. An example of this would be the Golden State of California, where there are already developed regulations on the procedure. Despite the emerging fame of this medical procedure, there are lots of people who are still confused with this process.

 

How is this procedure defined?

Before we define Surrogacy, let us understand why it came about in the first place. It is a known fact that not all can easily procreate and start their own family. This is true for infertile heterosexual couples and gay couples who, obviously, can’t bear their own child since they are of the same sex.

Science has come up with an answer in the form of Surrogacy. This process becomes possible by means of IVF; this is the process of fertilizing an egg outside the human body. If the woman is not capable of carrying the fertilized egg (embryo) to term, the solution is surrogacy. Therefore, this can be defined as the process by which a couple (intended parents) goes into contract with another woman (surrogate) to carry their fertilized egg or embryo.

 

Is there an association between the surrogate and the child?

There is a term specifically called, “gestational surrogacy,” which implies the surrogate carries the child in her womb and does not have any genetic association with the baby. Traditional surrogacy, on the other hand, involves either natural or most commonly, artificial insemination using the intended father’s sperm and the surrogate’s egg. This creates a genetic connection and is somewhat considered legally complex.

 

Are there circumstances that a surrogate claims the child?

Just before a surrogate is ultimately chosen, testing and screenings will be administered to check the surrogate’s overall capacity to carry out this procedure. To safeguard the best interests of all parties concerned, legal documentations are created and acknowledged to ensure that certain expectations are laid out and followed.

 

How much is the cost?

Admittedly, this process is expensive. There are a lot of costs to consider starting with the surrogate’s compensation down to the medical bills. It is ideal to find the best agency or clinic to know which can cater to the intended parents’, as well as the surrogate’s specific needs.

 

Is Surrogacy legal?

In Florida, as well as other states like Oregon, and Illinois, this procedure is considered legal and also have their own defined laws on the process. Some states, however, have their own different insights on the matter such as New York and New Jersey.

Surrogate Compensation

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Surrogate Compensation 

When one makes the selfless choice to become a surrogate, payment hardly becomes the top concern. That goes without mentioning the physical and emotional changes that a surrogate mom undergoes. Many folks understand that surrogacy is a very challenging role and that the compensation received is sometimes not equivalent to the sacrifice involved from the surrogate mother. Nonetheless, a surrogate mom should be compensated fairly.

 

Surrogate Compensation: Costs for Services

Surrogacy expenses are not all the same since it varies from agency to agency. Fees for application are paid by the intended parents, the cost of which normally work upwards of around $500, with legal costs typically come at $15,000. These expenses do not go straight to surrogate mom, but they go towards the direction of ensuring that she and the intended parents actually shielded economically.

 

Surrogate Compensation: Surrogate Cost

Turning into a surrogate is comparable to working full time, thus intended moms and dads usually recompense surrogate with a cash fee, which is determined and agreed upon prior to pregnancy; as well as ensuring that payment for various other costs are covered.

Expect that a first time surrogate mom will earn around $25,000 to $35,000 lower than what  an experienced surrogate is entitled to.

 

Surrogate Compensation: Additional Fees and Costs

As discussed above, a surrogate mom’s health care expenses are already settled by the intended moms and dads, this mainly consists of doctor’s appointments as well as other medical expenses incurred.

There are instances that will be out of the surrogate mom’s control that can still be covered by the intended parents. An instance, will be when the surrogate is kicked out of her property. There is this “back up plan” offered by the intended parents to ensure that her overall well being is still protected.

Understanding Surrogacy in Arkansas

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The legitimacy of surrogacy in the USA is actually still an on-going controversy. In addition to having surrogacy legal in some states in the US, it is the rules concerning the treatment that complexes the matter, and also increases inquiries coming from different communities in the country. Once you and your partner have decided to sign up for surrogacy services, you will need to familiarize yourself with information regarding surrogacy laws and legal issues per state. This will ease a little of the overwhelming feeling you are bound to get once you start your research on the topic.

The Basic Elements of Surrogacy Agreements

A legal professional with an extensive knowledge of Surrogacy laws is a key participant that will assist you in coming up with a contract with your surrogate. It is ideal to have independent or separate lawyers as well.

Having a list similar to the one below is important to outline the items that are essential to be agreed upon with your surrogate.

1. Names of parties involved, namely, the couple and the surrogate.

2. Must be of Legal Age.

3. Number of attempts.

4. The process of achieving surrogate’s pregnancy, like “no sexual intercourse.”

5. Agreement to sustain and continue the pregnancy.

6. A declaration that the mother cannot conceive a child and sustain a pregnancy.

7. Statement of in depth medical and mental condition of the woman who carries the intended

parents baby as agreed.

8. Medical insurance for all parties involved in the placement of the embryo.

9. Modern technology or practices involving the placement of the embryo.

10. Close monitoring and checking of surrogate’s activities as well as medication ingested.

11. Agreement on regular prenatal medical health care

12. Restriction on surrogate’s activities that may be considered threatening to pregnancy and the

birthing process.

13. Parental rights of the surrogate.

14. The presence of the couple during birth.

15. Legal or physical custody of the surrogate and the couple once the child is delivered.

16. Financial considerations before, during, and after pregnancy.

17. Confidentiality terms.

The items discussed above covers much of what is needed, but it is better to consider other factors to help you prepare for cases that you are not yet aware of. Planning ahead is critical at this stage to avoid having problems that will not only affect you but also the child‘s welfare.

Surrogate’s Compensation

The surrogate’s pay is one of the many issues to expect when deciding to opt for surrogacy. This answers the question on how just how much a surrogate is entitled to. It also covers the schedule of payment – before and during pregnancy checkups and medications, child delivery, and after birth. Expect more issues to arise if the childbirth is complicated or compromised due to medical issues. Given this, it is strongly advisable for all possible cases to be anticipated and covered, which includes fiscal commitments and insurances. Take note as well that whatever compensation a traditional or gestational surrogate gets, it is important to know that they are not an employee. Even if the surrogate does it for free, they are still not qualified under the definition of employee-employer relationship.

Gestational or Traditional Surrogacy

It is essential to know the difference between these two types of Surrogacy procedures. Traditional Surrogacy is the process wherein the surrogate undergoes artificial insemination or IVF by combining the surrogate’s eggs with the sperm of the donor. In this case, the surrogate has a genetic connection to the child, which could be very risky because of the said genetic link.

Gestational Surrogacy on the other hand, is the process wherein the surrogate carries the pregnancy and delivers the child from an already fertilized embryo. The egg and sperm are from the couples who request the help of a surrogate. In this case, the surrogate serves only as a carrier for the child, and there is no genetic link involved.

Legal Matters Post-Birth Adoption

There are still many legalities to be checked and agreed upon prior to or after the child’s birth. In many states, legal courts allow the intended parent’s name directly indicated on the child’s birth certificate. In other states, the surrogate’s name is the one placed on the birth documents, which can be amended in the future when the order for the intended parent’s come and be listed. Some states allow pre-birth order, however only under certain conditions. The main point is to know and understand the laws of each state in terms of surrogacy.

Communicating with your gestational surrogate.

Intended Parents 101: Communicating with Your Gestational Surrogate

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Communicating with your gestational surrogate during the surrogacy journey is very important to its success. The surrogate agency you work with will make sure that all of your preferences are met in finding an ideal gestational surrogate to assist you. The degree of communication and relationship you want with a gestational surrogate will really depend on you and your partner’s preferences. So it is very important to be truthful with your agency when disclosing this information.

After you have disclosed your personal preferences on the type of relationship and communication you want with a gestational surrogate, your surrogate agency will match you with a gestational surrogate who shares the same preferences with you and your partner. If you would like to keep your relationship with your gestational surrogate on a more personal level – meaning you want to have a close working relationship with open communication – your surrogate agency will find you a gestational surrogate who wants the same type of relationship.

If you prefer a more “business like” relationship with your gestational surrogate, your agency will pair you up with a suitable gestational surrogate who shares the same preferences. In this scenario, your agency will be doing most of the communicating with your gestational surrogate and will be informing you of any doctor’s appointments or checkups that you may want to attend with your gestational surrogate.

Communicating with your gestational surrogate is now easier than ever thanks to the services of a reliable surrogate agency. Remember, a good surrogate agency should be able to provide excellent services and support all throughout your surrogacy journey. They should be able to assist you in any way possible to make the journey a lot easier and more stress free for you and your partner.

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Communicating with your gestational surrogate.

Surrogates in Arkansas and Their Relationship with the Intended Parents

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Surrogates in Arkansas and their rapport with the intended parents is exclusively unique in its own way. Mounting a rich understanding of your expectations of the relationship and allocating those specifics with your surrogacy agency and each other is important.

The prime areas to focus discussions about your surrogate relationship concerns are regularity of communication, types of communication, and the overall tone of your personal relationship. This relationship can be reflected many different ways or you may indicate that you do not wish to have a relationship. Every intended parent’s approach will be different, as will that of the surrogates in Arkansas.

Relationships evolve and change over time. Being aware of this creates a balance with your surrogate mother, enabling a healthy relationship to develop and grow.

Surrogates in Arkansas must have a balance of communication between themselves and intended parents. It can be a delicate process involving each of you. Determining the amount of communication and gaining an insight into the surrogate’s expectations should be carefully considered. Some intended parents like high levels of interaction, regular updates via e-mail or phone, and the expectancy of attending the doctor appointments.

It is extremely essential to some intended parents to be included in the pregnancy. Similarly, some surrogates in Arkansas also desire this close bond with their intended parents and may be disappointed if the intended parents choose not to engage in regular contact throughout the journey and beyond. Many choose to have a life-long friendship even after the birth.

A small percentage of intended parents and surrogates in Arkansas feel compelled to have a small dose of contact such as quick updates and texts or phone conversation. Before entering into a surrogacy agreement together, it is important that several discussions take place as to the desirable amount of communication that will take place throughout the pregnancy and beyond.

It is important to talk with your partner about what type of relationship you would like to have with your surrogate before, during and after pregnancy. There are so many advantages and disadvantages to both options. The final decision ultimately rests on your shoulders and your personal preferences.

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Gay Intended Parents 101: Simple Ways to Bond with Your Newborn

Intended Parents 101: Simple Ways to Bond with Your Newborn

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One of the major fears gay parents face is whether they will bond or connect with their newborn, but most intended parents don’t realize that this is a very common worry amongst all types of parents. Here are some helpful tips and ideas to help gay parents bond with their newborn baby:

  • Before your newborn arrives, it is best to join a support group or a network with other gay parents that have tried surrogacy. The more you are able to talk through your fears, learn suggestions and hear stories from other parents, the more you will be prepared and have reasonable expectations of the initial months with your newborn. Reading books on parenting and watching DVDs or TV programs will help you feel ready when your newborn is placed in your arms.
  • Once your newborn arrives, it is best to focus on nurturing and meeting the baby’s needs. This is one of the main ways that parents and children bond to each other. You and your partner need to pay close attention to the nurturing tasks you are doing for your newborn, like feeding, changing, dressing and holding. By coming to your child when called and when you are needed, you will build trust and a feeling of safety which is at the basis of bonding. Responding to your baby’s cries or perceived “neediness” with consistency, love, and gentleness will let them slowly know that you are the parent and you can be depended on. For babies, dependency is a good thing.
  • Talk to your newborn. Language is a key element of connection and will help your baby in his development. Even with a newborn, it is important to talk and sing and coo and use your voice to share information and emotion. You can talk while you are doing care-taking tasks, talk about what you’re doing, and talk while you’re taking a walk. Even though you may think your child doesn’t understand you, you are conveying attachment and sharing information when you talk to him or her.
  • Play. Play is one of the joys of both parenthood and childhood. Before you know it, your newborn will be in the terrible teens and you will miss the days when you were his or her favorite playmate. For infants and babies, traditional games like peek-a-boo and singing games are wonderful ways to interact and bond, as well as teach your baby.
  • Touch. This may seem like a no-brainer, but touch is a key element in attachment and bonding. With an infant or baby, you will be holding your child to feed, rock, and comfort. A thousand words of comfort and security can easily be conveyed to your newborn through touch.

These are just some of the simple ways gay parents can bond with their newborn. By learning all the important skills new parents need to care and nurture for their child, you can easily build a lasting bond with your newborn baby.

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7 Critical Personality Traits A Surrogate Should Possess

7 Critical Personality Traits A Surrogate Should Possess

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As intended parents, you want to find the best surrogate mother for your surrogacy needs. Due to the growing number of people experiencing infertility in the United States, surrogacy has become more widely recognized, and more women today understand the concept of surrogacy and want to help others by choosing to be a surrogate. But with the increasing number of surrogates, it gets difficult to choose the right one for you. To help you get started on this wonderful surrogacy journey, here are a few characteristics you need to look for in a surrogate mother:

  • Honesty. Intended parents need to be able to trust their surrogate completely. A surrogate mother should be honest with the intended parents that chose her to work with them. All questions intended parents might have should be answered truthfully. Honesty is the most important part in any surrogacy relationship and greatly helps with its success.
  • Reliable. A good surrogate should be reliable with the intended parents. The surrogate mother should always make herself available for her intended parents or surrogate agency. Since the surrogate plays an important role, intended parents need to know that they can depend on their surrogate. To be a surrogate means being both reliable as well as professional.
  • Healthy. A good surrogate mother should not just be healthy enough to carry a child to term. She should have a good medical history meaning she has no chronic illnesses like cancer, diabetes and heart disease. In order to be a surrogate, she should have a good mental history meaning she has no history of mental illnesses such as depression, chronic anxiety and bipolar disorder. She should also maintain a healthy lifestyle by not smoking, drinking or using drugs.
  • Good Communicator. Surrogate mothers should be very vocal when communicating with all involved parties including intended parents, the surrogate agency and the medical personnel. She should provide regular medical updates to the surrogate agency and to the intended parents. She should also alert them if she has concerns about her health or the status of her pregnancy. The surrogate should be able to respond honestly and promptly to both the surrogate agency and the intended parents during the process of surrogacy.
  • Intelligent. A surrogate should be smart enough to understand all the processes involved with surrogacy. She should be able to comprehend all the important legal aspects like the surrogacy contract and relinquishing of all her legal rights to the child. She should also be smart enough to understand all the medical procedures that she will undergo and follow the medical instructions precisely rather than making her own decisions. An intelligent surrogate knows all her responsibilities and understands the gravity of what she will be doing for the intended parents.
  • Nurturing. A good surrogate mother should be nurturing, which means choosing what is best for the baby over what she may want to do. Since the surrogate mother will be carrying the intended parent’s child she should give it the same care as they would during the pregnancy. She should know how to take care of herself and the child she is carrying for the intended parents. A nurturing surrogate mother should be eating healthy, getting enough sleep and making choices that are best for the baby.
  • Responsible. A good surrogate mother should be responsible in her actions. She should follow through with instructions that she is given and be able to complete any tasks that are assigned to her by the intended parents, the surrogate agency or the doctor’s office. A responsible surrogate does what she is told without needing to be reminded. She should act responsibly in informing everyone involved if she has medical concerns.

Knowing for yourself these 7 important characteristics to look for in a surrogate will greatly increase your chance for a successful surrogacy journey. To be a surrogate mother, they should be professional and have the integrity that is embodied by these 7 characteristics. It is vital to identify them in a potential candidate prior to selecting her as your surrogate. A surrogate who possesses these qualities will not only give the intended parents a healthy baby but also a wonderful surrogacy journey.

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Your Top 5 Surrogacy Questions Answered

Your Top 5 Surrogacy Questions Answered

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Surrogacy can be a challenging process to comprehend. There are many aspects to this process that need to be understood. As intended parents, you need to know as much information as possible to ensure a hassle free surrogacy. If you happen to be new to surrogacy, here are the top questions and answers:

Top Question 1: What are the types of women that become surrogates?
Generally, surrogate mothers would have to be between 18 to 38 years old. This is one of the most important requirements surrogacy agencies and intended parents look for in a surrogate mother. Another important characteristic is that the surrogate mother should have at least conceived one child to ensure that the surrogate mother can carry pregnancy to term. Finally, the surrogate mother’s top goal should be helping others rather than the monetary compensation involved with surrogacy. In most cases, surrogacy agencies conduct a screening process on surrogate mothers to assure intended parents that they are getting a well-suited surrogate mother. Surrogacy agencies check medical records, financial history and criminal records of surrogate mothers.

Top Question 2: What do Intended Parents look for in a surrogate?
Intended parents normally base their decision on several factors like location of the surrogate mother, level of responsibility, intelligence, health and ability to carry a healthy pregnancy. These are some of the main characteristics that intended parents look for in a surrogate mother. Then there are those intended parents that are very meticulous when choosing a surrogate mother. These intended parents need a surrogate who is in agreement with the level of communication they prefer and someone who agrees to their type and style of relationship during and after the surrogacy. They prefer a surrogate who is not only physically and mentally in line with their expectations but also emotionally.

Top Question 3: Is the surrogate mother properly screened?
It depends. If the referral is coming from an IVF clinic then maybe not, as they generally do not perform the same amount of screening as surrogacy agencies will. If the referral for a surrogate mother comes from a reliable surrogacy agency then the surrogate has passed several mental, emotional and physical screening processes. Surrogacy agencies check medical records from previous pregnancies and conduct psychological and emotional tests on the surrogate mother. If the surrogate is married, her husband will also undergo psychological and medical screening

Top Question 4: Will the Intended Parents and surrogate meet?
It depends on the preference of the intended parents. There are intended parents that prefer not to get emotionally involved with their surrogate. The majority of intended parents however, prefer the “open surrogacy” policy, which means that the intended parents would meet and get to know the surrogate. Meeting the surrogate reassures intended parents that the surrogate’s primary motivation is not the money she earns but rather her desire to help. If the surrogate and the intended parents meet, they can get to know each other and get a better idea if the arrangement will work out.

Top Question 5: As Intended Parents, what are the chances of a successful surrogacy?
In medical terms, a “successful” surrogacy simply means that intended parents end up with a biological child. Since surrogacy involves a complex process like In Vitro Fertilization, the success rate will greatly depend on several factors like the health of the intended parents’ sperm and eggs, ability of the surrogate mother to carry a child to term and health of the surrogate. With these factors taken into consideration, the overall success rate of surrogacy in the US ranges from 70 to 80 percent. Your fertility doctor can give you the rate of success on your surrogacy.

Getting a better understanding of surrogacy before you begin your journey will definitely help you have a successful surrogacy, and understanding these top 5 questions on surrogacy will help you decide on the right thing to do before you start on this very important process. Surrogacy agencies can stand by your side and make the journey a lot easier because they can give you a better idea of what to expect and guide you throughout the whole process.

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