Author: JSADev10

7 Critical Personality Traits A Surrogate Should Possess

7 Critical Personality Traits A Surrogate Should Possess

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As intended parents, you want to find the best surrogate mother for your surrogacy needs. Due to the growing number of people experiencing infertility in the United States, surrogacy has become more widely recognized, and more women today understand the concept of surrogacy and want to help others by choosing to be a surrogate. But with the increasing number of surrogates, it gets difficult to choose the right one for you. To help you get started on this wonderful surrogacy journey, here are a few characteristics you need to look for in a surrogate mother:

  • Honesty. Intended parents need to be able to trust their surrogate completely. A surrogate mother should be honest with the intended parents that chose her to work with them. All questions intended parents might have should be answered truthfully. Honesty is the most important part in any surrogacy relationship and greatly helps with its success.
  • Reliable. A good surrogate should be reliable with the intended parents. The surrogate mother should always make herself available for her intended parents or surrogate agency. Since the surrogate plays an important role, intended parents need to know that they can depend on their surrogate. To be a surrogate means being both reliable as well as professional.
  • Healthy. A good surrogate mother should not just be healthy enough to carry a child to term. She should have a good medical history meaning she has no chronic illnesses like cancer, diabetes and heart disease. In order to be a surrogate, she should have a good mental history meaning she has no history of mental illnesses such as depression, chronic anxiety and bipolar disorder. She should also maintain a healthy lifestyle by not smoking, drinking or using drugs.
  • Good Communicator. Surrogate mothers should be very vocal when communicating with all involved parties including intended parents, the surrogate agency and the medical personnel. She should provide regular medical updates to the surrogate agency and to the intended parents. She should also alert them if she has concerns about her health or the status of her pregnancy. The surrogate should be able to respond honestly and promptly to both the surrogate agency and the intended parents during the process of surrogacy.
  • Intelligent. A surrogate should be smart enough to understand all the processes involved with surrogacy. She should be able to comprehend all the important legal aspects like the surrogacy contract and relinquishing of all her legal rights to the child. She should also be smart enough to understand all the medical procedures that she will undergo and follow the medical instructions precisely rather than making her own decisions. An intelligent surrogate knows all her responsibilities and understands the gravity of what she will be doing for the intended parents.
  • Nurturing. A good surrogate mother should be nurturing, which means choosing what is best for the baby over what she may want to do. Since the surrogate mother will be carrying the intended parent’s child she should give it the same care as they would during the pregnancy. She should know how to take care of herself and the child she is carrying for the intended parents. A nurturing surrogate mother should be eating healthy, getting enough sleep and making choices that are best for the baby.
  • Responsible. A good surrogate mother should be responsible in her actions. She should follow through with instructions that she is given and be able to complete any tasks that are assigned to her by the intended parents, the surrogate agency or the doctor’s office. A responsible surrogate does what she is told without needing to be reminded. She should act responsibly in informing everyone involved if she has medical concerns.

Knowing for yourself these 7 important characteristics to look for in a surrogate will greatly increase your chance for a successful surrogacy journey. To be a surrogate mother, they should be professional and have the integrity that is embodied by these 7 characteristics. It is vital to identify them in a potential candidate prior to selecting her as your surrogate. A surrogate who possesses these qualities will not only give the intended parents a healthy baby but also a wonderful surrogacy journey.

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Your Top 5 Surrogacy Questions Answered

Your Top 5 Surrogacy Questions Answered

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Surrogacy can be a challenging process to comprehend. There are many aspects to this process that need to be understood. As intended parents, you need to know as much information as possible to ensure a hassle free surrogacy. If you happen to be new to surrogacy, here are the top questions and answers:

Top Question 1: What are the types of women that become surrogates?
Generally, surrogate mothers would have to be between 18 to 38 years old. This is one of the most important requirements surrogacy agencies and intended parents look for in a surrogate mother. Another important characteristic is that the surrogate mother should have at least conceived one child to ensure that the surrogate mother can carry pregnancy to term. Finally, the surrogate mother’s top goal should be helping others rather than the monetary compensation involved with surrogacy. In most cases, surrogacy agencies conduct a screening process on surrogate mothers to assure intended parents that they are getting a well-suited surrogate mother. Surrogacy agencies check medical records, financial history and criminal records of surrogate mothers.

Top Question 2: What do Intended Parents look for in a surrogate?
Intended parents normally base their decision on several factors like location of the surrogate mother, level of responsibility, intelligence, health and ability to carry a healthy pregnancy. These are some of the main characteristics that intended parents look for in a surrogate mother. Then there are those intended parents that are very meticulous when choosing a surrogate mother. These intended parents need a surrogate who is in agreement with the level of communication they prefer and someone who agrees to their type and style of relationship during and after the surrogacy. They prefer a surrogate who is not only physically and mentally in line with their expectations but also emotionally.

Top Question 3: Is the surrogate mother properly screened?
It depends. If the referral is coming from an IVF clinic then maybe not, as they generally do not perform the same amount of screening as surrogacy agencies will. If the referral for a surrogate mother comes from a reliable surrogacy agency then the surrogate has passed several mental, emotional and physical screening processes. Surrogacy agencies check medical records from previous pregnancies and conduct psychological and emotional tests on the surrogate mother. If the surrogate is married, her husband will also undergo psychological and medical screening

Top Question 4: Will the Intended Parents and surrogate meet?
It depends on the preference of the intended parents. There are intended parents that prefer not to get emotionally involved with their surrogate. The majority of intended parents however, prefer the “open surrogacy” policy, which means that the intended parents would meet and get to know the surrogate. Meeting the surrogate reassures intended parents that the surrogate’s primary motivation is not the money she earns but rather her desire to help. If the surrogate and the intended parents meet, they can get to know each other and get a better idea if the arrangement will work out.

Top Question 5: As Intended Parents, what are the chances of a successful surrogacy?
In medical terms, a “successful” surrogacy simply means that intended parents end up with a biological child. Since surrogacy involves a complex process like In Vitro Fertilization, the success rate will greatly depend on several factors like the health of the intended parents’ sperm and eggs, ability of the surrogate mother to carry a child to term and health of the surrogate. With these factors taken into consideration, the overall success rate of surrogacy in the US ranges from 70 to 80 percent. Your fertility doctor can give you the rate of success on your surrogacy.

Getting a better understanding of surrogacy before you begin your journey will definitely help you have a successful surrogacy, and understanding these top 5 questions on surrogacy will help you decide on the right thing to do before you start on this very important process. Surrogacy agencies can stand by your side and make the journey a lot easier because they can give you a better idea of what to expect and guide you throughout the whole process.

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Baby Shower Ideas for Intended Parents

Baby Shower Ideas for Intended Parents

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Intended parents can find it difficult and confusing to throw a baby shower, since questions like ‘Should we invite the surrogate mother?’ and ‘How do we tell our families and friends about this occasion?’ can arise.

And since surrogacy is a relatively new process, there’s no established tradition in how to throw a baby shower. So to help get you started in planning the perfect baby shower as intended parents, here are some ideas:

If you’re planning a baby shower, consider inviting the surrogate mother – if you have a close relationship with her. If your relationship with her is more on the ‘professional’ level, it might not be so appropriate to invite her – after all, you don’t have a close or a personal relationship.

If you do have a close relationship with her, consider including her name on the invites you send out. It might read something like: “You are invited to attend a baby shower of (baby’s name), Proud parents to be (your names), proud surrogate mother (her name.)

If you invite your surrogate mother to the baby shower, it’s a good idea to suggest that your other guests bring her some small gifts, so that she doesn’t feel left out of the party. Small tokens are just fine – the important thing to remember is to credit her, to make her feel appreciated for all her efforts.

If your relationship with the surrogate mother is close, inviting her to the baby shower is a really good idea; she’ll feel touched to be recognized in this way, and the baby shower may become a treasured memory for her, a highlight of the surrogacy experience.

On the other hand, if your relationship isn’t especially close, and it would therefore be awkward to invite her, you could instead consider throwing her a surprise party after giving birth, or simply give her some presents as a token of gratitude for her contribution to your family.

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Surrogacy Contracts: 3 Helpful Tips Every Intended Parent Should Know

Surrogacy Contracts: 3 Helpful Tips Every Intended Parent Should Know

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Intended parents can face a lot of confusion regarding the legal aspects of surrogacy, and one of the biggest sources of confusion in the surrogacy process is the surrogacy contract. The surrogacy contract refers to the legal agreement between the intended parents and the surrogate. The contract lists all legal provisions and agreements related to the process of surrogacy. Having a legal contract between a surrogate and the intended parents is very important to avoid any future legal conflicts. In the event of unforeseen circumstances, the surrogacy contract will act as a legal guide for both intended parents and the surrogate.

In order to get a better understanding of surrogacy contracts, here are 3 of the most important things every intended parent should know:

Tip 1. Surrogacy contracts differ from state to state.
Every state recognizes surrogacy as a reproductive option, but while some states have passed laws and statutes defining the surrogacy process, others do not have specific laws addressing surrogacy. In most states where surrogacy is recognized, there are laws and statutes that define the paternity of the child, the financial obligations and the rights of the intended parents and the surrogate. It is very important to know what the local laws and statutes are before getting into any legal contract with a surrogate. Reproductive specialty lawyers who specialize in surrogacy can help intended parents better understand all the different laws and statutes on surrogacy. Surrogate agencies will employ reproductive specialty lawyers for intended parents and surrogates in order to ensure that each party is legally protected.

Tip 2. The surrogacy contract is essential.
The surrogacy contract is very important to avoid any future legal conflicts that may arise during the process of surrogacy. A surrogacy contract is a binding and enforceable legal contract for the intended parents and surrogate. It pre-defines the paternity of the child and both the financial and behavioral responsibilities of each party. The surrogacy contract allows each party (meaning the intended parents and the surrogate) to state their own intentions and responsibilities to one another, and it establishes guidelines for what actions will be taken in the event of medical complications such as the number of embryos to be transferred at one time, if selective reduction is an acceptable option, and which type of delivery method will be used. All of these agreements and conditions are very important to avoid any legal conflicts that may arise during and after the surrogacy process. Surrogate agencies can provide helpful information on the different aspects included in a surrogacy contract.

Tip 3. The surrogacy contract should be reviewed by reproductive specialty lawyers representing each party.
Neither the intended parents nor the surrogate are required by law to use a reproductive specialty lawyer’s services for the surrogacy contract. However, it is highly advisable that the surrogacy contract be reviewed by a reproductive specialty lawyer in order to be certain that the child’s paternity is pre-established, and to properly identify the financial and medical obligations of each party. It is also recommended that both the surrogate and the intended parents have their own reproductive specialty lawyers review the surrogacy contract. Each reproductive specialty lawyer will review the surrogacy contract to ensure that the client’s responsibilities, rights, and paternity are properly identified. In most cases, surrogate agencies will provide both the intended parents and the surrogate with their own reproductive specialty lawyer.

The surrogate process can be confusing for intended parents, and reviewing and understanding the surrogacy contract is one of the best ways to clear up that confusion. The structure and clarity the surrogacy contract provides can help intended parents to feel comfortable and confident throughout the surrogate process.

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Should Pregnant Surrogates Eat Organic Foods?

Should Pregnant Surrogates Eat Organic Foods?

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The goal shared by all intended parents and surrogate mothers is to produce a healthy baby. To ensure that the baby develops properly, it’s very important for the surrogate to eat healthily while she is pregnant. More and more, intended parents are going a step further by asking their surrogates to eat only organic foods. While some surrogates are reluctant to do this, others are entirely willing – after all, it may improve their own health.

As with any significant decision, though, there are pros and cons to be considered.

The downsides include that organic foods can be much more expensive than the same type of non-organically-produced foods. This is due to their higher cost of production. A surrogate may be more willing to eat organic foods if the intended parents offered to pay for the organic foods she eats.

A related issue to that is the fact that organic foods can also be harder to obtain; not every grocery store or supermarket has such a wide selection of organics. They’re a specialty item, after all, and surrogates with fewer options for food-shopping (in rural areas or small towns, for instance) may have trouble shopping for organic foods.

And of course, not every food is available organically. There’s a real possibility that a surrogate eating only organically may have to miss out on some of her favorite foods for the duration of her pregnancy.

There are convenience issues, too. Organics, due to their lack of preservatives, can spoil more easily – shorter shelf-lives, which require more regular shopping.

But there are a lot of good reasons that intended parents ask their surrogates to eat organic foods. Insecticides and additives are potentially harmful if they are passed though to the baby during pregnancy. Organic foods lack insecticides and additives – those things won’t be carried through into the baby.

Health concerns have, from time to time, been raised over genetically modified crops, or meat from animals that have been fed those crops. Organic food, by definition, is not genetically modified, which removes those concerns.

Research has shown, additionally, that organic foods contain more healthy vitamins and minerals, possibly due to the lack of preservatives involved.

And as a side-benefit, if you’re concerned about how animals are treated, organic food is a much better idea. Organic farming requires that animals be fed a natural diet, and are kept (unlike mass-produced ‘factory farm’ meat) in much more humane free-range conditions.

So while organic food can be inconvenient at times and more expensive, it also does provide a much healthier choice for the surrogate and the baby. It’s a big decision that should be weighed seriously from both sides, but there are solid reasons behind why a lot of intended parents do want their surrogate mothers to eat organically during their pregnancy.

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Intended Parents 101: Preparing for the Arrival of Your Baby

Intended Parents 101: Preparing for the Arrival of Your Baby

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Fortunately, the nine months between your baby’s conception and arrival gives you plenty of time to prepare. Here are some important tips to help you get ready for the arrival of your new baby:

Learn about the birth process with your surrogate
Because the thought of birth can be very overwhelming (even to an experienced surrogate mother), it’s best to discuss the details with her.

Find a doctor for your surrogate and baby
The best time to find an obstretican is before the fertility treatment starts – during the treatment, things will be hectic. Start looking midway through the surrogate’s pregnancy, around the 4-5 month point. This may seem early, but you’ll want to give yourself plenty of time to find a physician who’ll be a good fit for your family, who accepts your insurance, and who is taking new patients. Ask the people you know for references.

Get on the same page with your surrogate
An important aspect of planning is to inform your surrogate – she should be well informed about the different plans you and your partner have during and after the delivery of the child.

Talk to veteran moms about birth and baby care
Veteran moms have valuable knowledge you can use when your baby comes. They can provide great suggestions and tips on things you need to expect when your child arrives.

Prepare older siblings and pets (if any)
Many parents use a baby doll to help their child understand what’s coming. Older toddlers or pre-schoolers will enjoy the pretend play; when they see you diapering or feeding the new baby later, it will seem familiar. Pets also benefit from special pre-baby preparation. Local trainers may offer classes, or you can turn to books, articles, or videos for tips on teaching your pet and eventually your baby how to respect each other.

Decide who will attend the birth
This is a very personal decision. Some intended parents like a full room while others prefer as few people present as possible. Give some thought to what you want, so that there are no misunderstandings, unwelcome observers, or offended grandmothers. Make sure to also speak about this decision with your surrogate so she will not be surprised at the hospital.

Pack your bag
The last thing you’ll want to worry about when your surrogate goes into labor is whether you have everything packed. Ease your mind by getting your bag together a few weeks before your due date. Important things to bring should include all the legal documents, as well as any gift you may be presenting to your surrogate. Remember, a new baby requires an installed car seat, diapers, wipes, some clothing, and a safe place to sleep.

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Intended Parents 101

Intended Parents 101: Is Surrogacy Right for Us?

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Before you choose to go with surrogacy, you and your spouse or partner need to ask yourselves some questions; it’s a life-changing decision that requires mutual agreement, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Some of the most important questions are:

“How will you handle a surrogate carrying your baby?”
The relationship between the surrogate and the intended parents can be as close or as limited as the parties agree upon, but it’s generally encouraged that the intended parents and surrogate communicate on a daily basis, attend all doctor appointments, and socialize on a regular basis. This allows the intended parents to feel that they are part of the pregnancy and are bonding with the baby.

“How can we be sure we have a compatible surrogate?”
The most critical step in the surrogacy process is selecting a surrogate that closely matches your and your spouse’s values, personality, and beliefs. This is accomplished through the agency that you and your spouse hire; each party will complete a profile that compiles personal information about you and your spouse and the surrogate and her spouse (if she is married). Once a potential match is located and properly screened, the agency will arrange a meeting of all parties.

“How much are we willing to financially invest in trying to have a baby?”
You and your spouse need to research the costs involved in using a surrogate to have a child – they’ll depend upon which medical procedures need to be performed, the agency fees, and the surrogate fees. The surrogacy agency will be able to provide you with an estimated breakdown to help you figure this out.

If you decide to choose surrogacy as a path to having a baby, it’s very important the relationship between both parties be protected. This is accomplished by selecting an agency that is not strictly a matching service – pick one that’s knowledgeable about surrogacy laws in your state, that carefully screens all surrogates, that is willing to act as a mediator between the surrogate and intended parents, ensures all legal and hospital matters are handled, and is available to walk all parties through each step of the process.

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Intended Parents 101

Intended Parents 101: Common Questions Answered

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Understandably, intended parents tend to have a lot of questions. Here are three (and their answers!) to get you started:

Why do I need a legal surrogacy agreement?
A legal surrogacy agreement – your surrogacy contract, that is, drafted by a specialized surrogacy attorney – attempts to cover all the “what ifs” in the process, addressing every issue that may arise.

For example, what if the surrogate changes her mind and wants to keep the baby? What if the intended parents split up while the surrogate is pregnant? What if the surrogate is pregnant with multiple fetuses? A well-drafted surrogacy agreement will answer all these questions (and many more), and be clear as to each party’s intent. The agreement should not only cover the important details of the arrangement but also establish each party’s legal rights and address their responsibilities too.

Can I use a ready-made contract I found on the Internet, or create my own?
This is very heavily not-recommended. A surrogacy agreement or contract is more complicated than you may think. The costs you anticipate saving by preparing the agreement yourself do not begin to outweigh the risks or legal consequences for a poorly drafted agreement.

Most of the agreements found on the Internet are too general in nature. Not only do they lack case law as they pertain to your specific surrogacy journey, they almost never provide enough protection for all involved parties or detail the specifics of your surrogacy arrangement.

The best and most practical way to get a well drafted surrogacy contract would be to enlist the help of a reliable surrogate agency that has years of experience and can provide a solid reliable reproductive lawyer.

What is required to ensure I am my child’s legal parent?
So, you have an agreement drafted by a legal professional, you’ve had the transfer, your surrogate is pregnant and you’re a few months away from realizing your dreams! Now what? Besides the decorating, shopping, baby shower and all-around giddiness you feel every day knowing your baby is on the way, you must again return to the legal issues and obtain a judgment of parentage which declares the Intended parent(s) the parent(s) and gives them all legal rights and adjudges that the surrogate and her husband (if any) have no legal rights.

Typically, this judgment is obtained pre-birth. There are some situations where your attorney may suggest that one parent needs to “adopt” the child. When you meet with your attorney, they will advise you on which manner you must proceed. Legally, this is your final step.

Once the judgment is obtained, your attorney will forward a certified copy to the hospital your surrogate will be delivering at and it is always best to keep an additional copy in your hospital bag and then just wait for the glorious day of your child’s birth.

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Important Things You Need to Know After IVF

Important Things You Need to Know After IVF

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After an embryo transfer, a lot of tension and anxiety can happen. For first-time surrogates and intended parents, questions begin to linger in their minds – “Should I be on bed rest for the first two or three days?”, “What foods should I eat?”, “How active can I be during the two-week wait, and “Will our surrogate get pregnant?”

These questions are all important to comprehend, and advice can vary from doctor to doctor. The really important thing to remember is that there’s no guarantee of pregnancy through IVF – there are a lot of factors involved in the process.

Some common suggestions recommended by doctors are:

1. No heavy lifting for the first 48 hours after IVF transfer.

2. No strenuous physical activities like running or aerobics.

3. No alcohol, drugs or smoking.

4. No intercourse until a fetal heartbeat is determined.

5. Bed rest for the first two days after the IVF transfer.

It’s very important to remember that these instructions do differ between doctors.

As intended parents, if you want to be more sure that these instructions are followed, it might be helpful to assist – or have someone assist – your surrogate during the first two days after the IVF transfer. Run the errands that the surrogate needs done, prepare meals for her and her family, help with laundry and so forth.
The surrogate is likely to really appreciate your help while she’s on bed-rest, while you yourself would have peace of mind that the surrogate is following her doctor’s instructions.

In most cases, the transfer’s success is known after ten days. On the tenth day after the transfer, the surrogate goes back to the IVF clinic to see if the embryo has implanted into the uterus.

On Day 12 after the embryo transfer, the fertility clinic checks to see if the HcG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) level has doubled – if it has, then the embryo is properly growing.

The In Vitro Fertilization procedure is not 100% successful; not every embryo transfer will result in a pregnancy. In the event that it doesn’t, it’s important not to make any rash decisions until the intended parents have had an opportunity to discuss the outcome with the doctor.

The doctor may have some insight about why the transfer was a failure – poor embryo quality, poor uterine lining or genetic problems are all possibilities.
Surrogacy is never a certain process, and the better you understand it, the better you’ll be able to plan your next steps. Proper medical advice will help the intended parents understand the best way to move forward.

There are a lot of important aspects of surrogacy that need to be properly understood. Knowing them will help intended parents better comprehend the process of surrogacy.

The issue of bed rest after an IVF transfer is still under debate; so far, nothing has been proven. Remember, it’s at the discretion of your doctor to give all the necessary instructions to your surrogate – first and foremost, pay attention to your doctor’s advice.

Your Next Step

To find the surrogate mother that’s right for you and your family, simply fill out our easy free online application and a Surrogacy Agency in Arkansas caseworker will contact you within 24 hours (during the business week) to discuss your application, answer any questions you might have, and outline the next steps. And in the meantime, you can also download our free reports to get even more information on surrogacy and the surrogate experience.

Important Things You Need to Know After Surrogacy IVF

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Important Things You Need to Know After Surrogacy IVF

Posted Under: Intended Parenthood, Pregnancy Tips, Surrogate Motherhood, on August 13, 2012

Information about Surrogacy IVF, surrogate medical procedures

After an embryo transfer, a lot of tension and anxiety can happen. For first-time surrogates and intended parents, questions begin to linger in their minds – “Should I be on bed rest for the first two or three days?”, “What foods should I eat?”, “How active can I be during the two-week wait, and “Will our surrogate get pregnant?”

These questions are all important to comprehend, and advice can vary from doctor to doctor. The really important thing to remember is that there’s no guarantee of pregnancy through IVF – there are a lot of factors involved in the process.

Some common suggestions recommended by doctors are:

1. No heavy lifting for the first 48 hours after IVF transfer.

2. No strenuous physical activities like running or aerobics.

3. No alcohol, drugs or smoking.

4. No intercourse until a fetal heartbeat is determined.

5. Bed rest for the first two days after the IVF transfer.

It’s very important to remember that these instructions do differ between doctors.

As intended parents, if you want to be more sure that these instructions are followed, it might be helpful to assist – or have someone assist – your surrogate during the first two days after the IVF transfer. Run the errands that the surrogate needs done, prepare meals for her and her family, help with laundry and so forth.
The surrogate is likely to really appreciate your help while she’s on bed-rest, while you yourself would have peace of mind that the surrogate is following her doctor’s instructions.

In most cases, the transfer’s success is known after ten days. On the tenth day after the transfer, the surrogate goes back to the IVF clinic to see if the embryo has implanted into the uterus.

On Day 12 after the embryo transfer, the fertility clinic checks to see if the HcG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) level has doubled – if it has, then the embryo is properly growing.

The In Vitro Fertilization procedure is not 100% successful; not every embryo transfer will result in a pregnancy. In the event that it doesn’t, it’s important not to make any rash decisions until the intended parents have had an opportunity to discuss the outcome with the doctor.

The doctor may have some insight about why the transfer was a failure – poor embryo quality, poor uterine lining or genetic problems are all possibilities.
Surrogacy is never a certain process, and the better you understand it, the better you’ll be able to plan your next steps. Proper medical advice will help the intended parents understand the best way to move forward.

There are a lot of important aspects of surrogacy that need to be properly understood. Knowing them will help intended parents better comprehend the process of surrogacy.

The issue of bed rest after an IVF transfer is still under debate; so far, nothing has been proven. Remember, it’s at the discretion of your doctor to give all the necessary instructions to your surrogate – first and foremost, pay attention to your doctor’s advice.

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